What if I Can't Decide?
by xoangeeel
Summary: What happens when James meets the girl of his dreams at a Concert and gets a shot with her? and what if Logan has feelings for her?\\\ *sexual materiel, self harm, swearing violence/
1. Chapter 1

Kendall, Carlos, James, his date and I all walked into the movie theater. I knew James was nervous he kept playing with his zipper of his hoodie, and studded when she would talk to him. She was beautiful. He got a good girl this time. The story behind them is really funny actually.

"_I love you James.. so much" said the girl. "I love you too sweetheart" James said. She teared up and looked at her friend and hugged her. 'kind of creepy' James thought then went on the bus. He sat next to Logan, dude.. There's this really pretty girl outside.. and she's digging me._

_Kendall walked in and laughed. "Dude, you think EVERYBODY is into you" James growled. "No dude I swear, she had 'Mrs. Maslow ' on the back of her shirt!" Kendall walked off the bus and looked at the 5 girls outside the gate. He yelled "I like your shirts, what do they say?" all 5 of them just stared at him._

_The blonde spoke up first. "KENDALL KENDALL HI HI HI OH MY GOD" as she was basically jumping over the tall dark haired girl. He laughed and said hey. The other dark haired girl walked near the gate. "WHERE'S LOGAN TELL HIM I SAID HI." He nodded, "will do" he looked for the other girl. _

_He finally got a glimpse of her, she as quit short, probably about 5'0" she had brown hair, with bleach blonde underneath, and all he could notice was her green eyes; they really stuck out. "ANGEL LOOK KENDALL" her friend in the green said. She looked up and smiled, then waved. "whoa, he's so fucking hot in person." She laughed then added. "but, not as hot as james." _

We all got in our seats in the theater. Starting at the wall it was James, Angel, me, Carlos then Kendall. She grabbed my drink then took a sip "that's my drink you know" she looked at me. "Oh shit. Sorry" I laughed. "it's alright sweet cheeks"

_Kendall came back into the bus. "James what one are you talking about?" he got up and they looked out the window together. "that one." He pointed to the short girl with the green eyes. Kendall nodded and laughed. "She did say if I remember correctly, that I was so fucking hot in person.. but not as hot as James."_

_James looked at him. "I want to get her number… what do I do? How do I do this" Carlos came over to the two boys, "what are you two goofballs doing?" he said. "James, go out there, play it cool and just talk to them then start a conversation with her. Then the rest should come easy" _

"_GUYS SOUNDCHECK" Ranel screamed. "fuck" James looked down. "I'm going to have to do this after sound check" the boys got off the bus and the girls were still there giggling and waving. "GIRL YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." Ranel yelled at them. James looked back fast and saw them slowly walk away. "Kendall.." James said walking with his head down. "Yeah dude?" he looked over at him."Ranel just made them leave… I'm not going to get her number."_

We all were joking around and throwing popcorn at each other when the move started. James put his arm around Angel. "NO MAKING OUT" Kendall yelled. "she grabbed her bag of skittles and threw one at him "shut your face. DON'T MAKE OUT WITH CARLOS, KENDALL" I started laughing hard and she smiled at me. I smiled back, and thought to myself 'I've never seen such a beautiful smile in my life"

_The boys finished sound check while the girls went on rides, got food and walked around the fair. The boys did their meet and greet and James kept his eye opened and hoped to see her there. She wasn't. They all got on the bus to get ready for the show, James went to the back lounge and sat next to Kendall. _

"_With my luck, she'll be in the damn grandstands." He slipped his shoes off and put them to the side. "you don't know that, just keep your eyes open and write your number down on a piece of paper. If you see her, and she's close to the front have Ranel give her it. Or you jump down and do it." James looked at him. "You're a fucking genius!" Kendall laughed. "I know bro. I know."_

"_I seriously can't believe we're front row.. center for this concert Allana" Angel laughed and looked at her friend. "I know! This is fucking crazy" "oh, I know. James is gonna be all fine and stuff standing in front of me." Angel giggled, "you and your James, Angel. I don't know about you sometimes." Allana said laughing at her. "well can you blame me! you saw him earlier!" The girls kept talking for a while and watched the opening act. Then went up to the barriers and stood near them waiting for the show to start._

"_I'm getting nervous guys.." James sighed. "dude, you never get nervous." Logan looked at him taking a sip of water. Kendall stepped in. "time to go guys, James you got your thing to give to the girl if you see her?" James nodded and got up, they went off the bus and went by the stage._

_The show started and they opened with famous. James looked at the front row and didn't notice her, Kendall looked around and spotted James girl. When they finished the song Kendall grabbed James and whispered "dude she's front row white shirt. Right in front of the speaker on your right." They started the next song and James went over to the speaker and saw her._

_She was singing along and dancing, and screaming 'My god' thought James. 'she's so perfect." He jumped down off the stage and the girl went crazy, he walked over to angel and pulled out the note, took her hand and took her hand slipping the note into it, then letting go._

_Angel felt the paper and looked at her hand when James ran down to the other side of the stage. "What the…" She opened the note and read it. "hey sweetheart, I think you're very beautiful. And you should give me a call, or text me tonight. It'd mean a lot. Xoxo, James Maslow 555-783-1271" she stared at the note. "Holy fucking shit. Allana read this!" she gave the note to Allana then they looked at each other and screamed. _

_They show ended and the boys got on the bus and showered and got ready to go to the next show. "I gave it to her" James spoke up. Kendall laughed, "due I know you should've saw her reading it!" James laughed and took out his phone. "now for the wait."_

_Angel got home from the long night and changed. The took the note out and laid on her bed, she took out her phone and plugged it in, then slowly typed James number in her contacts. She hit the new message button and slowly texted him. _

"_Hey James? This is Angel, the girl from the show."_

_James got a new message and smiled big. "HELL YES. She texted me._

The movie finished and we all went back home. We sat around and played uno for a bit, then James and Angel went to bed. I stayed up with Carlos and Kendall for a bit then went to lay down. I changed into my boxers and got in bed. 'I need to make that girl mine.. if it's the last thing I do" I thought. "I need to."


	2. Chapter 2

_I guess you could say that James fell for this girl the moment he saw her. Its strange how things around here have changed since the moment they met. All you would hear on the bus is James laughing and talking to her all hours of the night. Somehow, he had convinced her to talk her mom into moving in with us. _

We had a month break until we headed back for touring, so Angel came when we finally got done. She's 17 – a lot younger then all of us. But… nobody seemed to care. She was really funny, and outgoing. She and Carlos hit it off right away and you could tell they were going be best friends. Kendall was never home much, but when he was they would play video games and eat nutella and pretzels together. James treated her like she was a baby bunny or some other kind of cute animal. James spent every minute of his day with Angel. He would do everything with her and anything for her.

I walked into the kitchen the next morning after we went to the movies and saw her sitting at the table eating cereal. "Hey kid, what are you doing?" I sat next to her. "Oh.. I'm just eating some fruity pebbles. James went to the gym and decided he was going to have a guy's day out with Kendall." She sounded kind of disappointed. "Well, you and James have been together nonstop, maybe you need a small break for the day" She sighed. "I guess you're right" I looked at her and smiled "Well… maybe you and me can do something today...together?"

She agreed and went to go get ready for the day. I had a lot of planning to do. I called and made reservations for lunch at engine co. no 28. I decided that I was gunna take her to the beach before lunch then some sight-seeing after. "Logan what should I wear today" I heard her call from the top of the stairs. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up "something nice for lunch but have something to go swimming in." I heard her rustling around in her room getting ready "I'll just wear something comfortable then change before we go to lunch." I nodded "ok sounds good" I walked up the stairs to my room to change. I threw on my swimming shorts and a tank top then threw some nice shorts and a shirt in a bag.

I walked to her room and knocked on her door. "Are you decent?" I asked before opening the door. "Ya come in" I heard her say. I walked in and stopped dead. Her hair was curly and her bangs where straight. God she is so beautiful. "Logan?" I heard her say but I couldn't talk. "Helloo. Earth to Logan." I shook my head. "Sorry went away for a second" she laughed. Oh her beautiful laugh. "Welcome back then" I looked at her now and smiled. She had on shorts and one of those cami shirts with her bikini top on underneath." Are you already" I finally asked her. "Ya I just have to put some things in a bag then I'm all ready" she said as she grabbed a beach bag and threw clothes, make up and a hairbrush in it. This was going to be a great day.

She put on sandals and we walked out to my car. We got in, an she put the radio on. We danced and sang in the car the whole way to the beach. We finally got there, parked and walked down to the sand, we laid a blanket down and sat on it. "I've never seen the ocean before.. It's beautiful" she looked at me and smiled. "You've never seen the ocean?" I looked at her and basically screamed. "No! I lived in Vermont, the only thing I ever saw was the lake!" I laughed and put my hand out. "come on, we'll go stand it the water." She smiled at me and took my hand as we walked down to the water. "Whoa this shit is cold!" she laughed. "Well it is early in the morning, it hasn't gotten up to temperature yet" I looked at her and smiled. "Okay Mr. Know it all." I laughed and she splashed me, and I splashed her back. By the time we were done, we were both soaked. I ran up to the blanket and looked at my phone. "Hey it's time for lunch, you ready?" she nodded and we went to the bathrooms to change.

I got into my nice shorts, and black tank top, I walked out and waited for her. She came out in a purple cheetah print dress, leggings, and a pair of sandals. "Oh my god.." I whispered to myself. I smiled at her and she smiled back. "Does this look okay Logie?" I smiled big. "Yeah, you look amazing." She smiled and we walked off to the car. We drove off to the restraint and waited to be seated.

We were sitting at our table going through the menus, "I don't know what I want it all looks so good." she said reading it. "I think I'm just going to get a chicken sandwich, if that's okay?" I nodded "I think I'll get the same." We told the waiter what we wanted and started talking. "so, are you happy you moved out here?" I took a sip of my drink looking at her. "Yeah, I am. I love it out here." She smiled. "you guys are all really nice, and I'm glad I get to experience this… just a few months ago I was dreaming about it. Now it's a reality." I laughed. "Yeah, we didn't realize how much James was actually into you." She started laughing. "oh my god… I felt like such an idiot the day of the concert. I CRIED MY EYES OUT. Just because he said I love you back to me. it was a bit much." I laughed and shook my head. "well, obviously not too much, cause look where you are now." I smiled and she smiled back.

We ate our food and talked more. When we were done we drove to a parking garage and parked the car for the day and set out to go sightseeing. She was really fun to hang out with, and smiled at everything. I got to know her really well. And it made me realize how much I was really starting to like her. This wasn't good…

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><p>i'd love to get at least 2 reviews. to know what people think of this story :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a heads up, this is all Logan's POV unless I say it otherwise. (Later on in the story, there will be a Kendall POV, angel POV, and so on.) I HOPE EVERYBODY ENJOYS THIS :)**

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><p>We got back to the house around 5:00 and we watched TV till the guys got home. When James walked through the door I watched Angel jump up, hug and kiss him. I felt jealousy go through my body. "What'd you do today baby?" James asked her she smiled and looked back at me "well it was just me and Logan all day, so he took me to the beach, out to lunch and sightseeing. I had a lot of fun." James looked at me, he looked sort of mad. That's when he started yelling…<p>

"YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH LOGAN?" he got closer to angel, and she backed up. "I didn't go on a date with him… why the fuck are you yelling at me?" I stood up. "James, calm down we weren't on a date." He looked at me furiously "you shut the fuck up Logan, are you trying to take my girlfriend from me?" he asked as he walked closer to me. I put my hands up to protest, "no I'm not James, we were the only two here so we decided to do something!" he closed his hands into fists "I don't fucking believe you!" he yelled and drew back his arm. I backed up against a wall and quickly looked for help. Kendall and Carlos walked in and angel ran to Carlos crying. "I'm going to kill you Logan."

I closed my eyes ready for the punch. Then I heard Kendall's voice "James calm down. Let's go to the other room and you can take a breather" I opened my eyes and saw Kendall standing between us holding James back. He put his hands down and threw the bag he had on the couch then walked away to his room. Angel was cuddled up against Carlos with tears rolling down her cheeks he was stroking her hair and rocking her back and forth. I sat down next to them and rubbed Angels back. "it's going to be okay baby girl, I promise." Carlos whispered to her quietly, I nodded and added "yeah don't worry sweetheart, he won't be mad long it's not your fault."

She sat up and went to James room. I looked at Carlos "I don't get why he got so mad. I'm not going to try to take her or anything, we were the only ones home" he nodded "I know what you mean dude, he just likes her a lot and I think he's scared that somebody will come and take her from him. You know what I mean?" I sighed and nodded "yeah.. I know what you mean." I got up and went to my room.

I'm never going to get her now.

**ANGEL POV**

I don't get why James is so mad at me, he's just sitting on his bed, and staring at the damn wall. He won't even look at me. I laid down on his bed behind him. "James…" he turned and looked at me, then down at the floor. "y- Yeah baby?" I smiled a little. "I'm sorry for everything… really, I didn't know you were going to get mad, I just didn't want to sit around all day" he laid down next to me and placed his hand on my cheek. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you baby…" I nodded slowly "It's okay baby" he shook his head. "no it's not, I should never yell at you ever. I feel horrible" I looked in his eyes… my god I love his eyes. A few months ago, this was something I only dreamed about, and now I'd a reality. He leaned in and kissed my lips softly. I kissed him back slowly making the kiss deeper. "I love you Angel" he whispered as he pulled away. My god, James Maslow just told me he loved me. I smiled wide, "I love you too, James"

We decided that we wanted to have a small party, so I could make some friends around here. We got all the guys together and planned everything out. "YEAH GETTING DRUNK TOMORROW NIGHT" Kendall yelled. I rolled my eyes and laughed. "will you guys let me drink…?" James laughed, "I mean, if you want to I'll let you have a few."

Carlos grabbed his wallet, "I'm going to go buy the beer and all that now so we don't have to do it tomorrow!" Kendall agreed to go with him, Logan had went for a walk, so it was just me and James.

"So, what's my girlfriend thinking about right now?" James asked as he sat down. "I'm thinking about how I got such an amazing handsome boyfriend." I smiled and he kissed me deep. I moved so I was sitting on his lap straddling him as we kissed deep. He placed his hands on my waist as I placed mine on his face. He parted his lips and I slowly slid my tongue in his mouth. Our tongues battled for a few minutes then he slowly pulled away biting my bottom lip gently. I moaned softly and ran my fingers through his hair. "Angel…" he whispered against my lips and I looked at him "I don't want to take things too fast… please."

He doesn't want to take things to fast. What the fuck? I looked down and got off of him. "Oh… it's okay." I went to the bathroom and took a shower, and got in my pajamas. I laid down in James bed and fell asleep before James came in. around 12:00 am I felt him climb into bed and kiss my head, I heard his whisper "I love you beautiful" and wrap his arms around me and we both fall asleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long night.

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><p>I'd love lots of reviews and for you to tell me how you feel about this story.<p>

sorry i took so long to update!


	4. Chapter 4

**LOGAN POV**

I guess I'm not sure why we're having a party tonight. I woke up and James and Angel were arguing about what she was wearing. I thought she looked pretty. But to him she looked let me quote, "trampy". She had on a long sleeved v neck, with a purple tank top on; she had dark skinny jeans on and a pair of white vans. "NO YOU'RE GONNA CHANGE." James yelled at her "dude she looks fine leave her the fuck alone" Kendall stood up for her "if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't be worrying about this shit. Leave her the fuck alone and we'll have fun tonight"

James walked off and angel hugged Kendall and I heard her thank him. I went and got ready. When I went back down stairs there were already people at the house. Kendall of course took that to advantage and already started to drink, so wasn't James… I decided I would stay sober with Carlos to make sure things went smoothly.

Angel came over and sat with me for a while; James was being a dick as usual and ignoring her. She seemed pretty upset. "Are you alright Angel?" I looked at her and she nodded "you don't seem it…?" she slowly looked up at me and I saw tears fall down her face.

"I don't get why he's so mean to me all of the time all of a sudden… we're fighting about everything. I can't take it anymore." I stared at her… "What are you going to do?" she sighed and got up "dump his stupid ass." Whoa… did she just say she was gunna dump James? She started to walk away and I jumped up. "WAIT. Hey, angel, are you sure you want to do this?" she turned to face me "I don't want to be treated like this anymore. If all he's going to do is fight with me, then I'm done. And that's final. Don't worry. I won't move out, we can still hang out and stuff. I promise." I smiled a little and let her arm go; she walked over to James who was ignoring her…

**ANGEL POV**

"James!" I tapped him on the back, and he wouldn't turn around. It was so loud and there were so many people. People I didn't even care to even try to be friends with. I had Carlos, he's my friend. And I trust Carlos with EVERYTHING. He was all I really needed. I tapped James on the back again, "HELLO ARE YOU GOING TO AWNSWER ME?" he turned around "What the fuck do you want, my fucking god you're annoying tonight" did he really just call me fucking annoying. I laughed and looked at him "you know what? You're a piece of fucking shit. And I'm fucking done with you. For good." I walked off and grabbed the open bottle of vodka.

James was just kind of standing there, but he eventually turned back around and started talking to the group he was in again. I took sips of the vodka right out of the bottle. "Fuck it" I thought to myself "I'm going to get drunk, and I'm going to have fun. Even if I don't remember anything tomorrow morning."

I was for sure catching a buzz after about an hour. I made my way over to Kendall and we danced for a bit. Fuck… Kendall is so fucking hot. He had on a dark pair of skinny jeans, a red flannel and he was just… he was looking fine. We sat on the couch and talked for a bit. "I broke up with James" he looked at me quickly. "Whoa, you dumped him? Is it done for good?" he asked me taking another sip of his beer. I gave up on the vodka after a while; my throat wasn't liking that too much. I nodded "yup, I'm done with him and his constant need to yell at Me." he smiled a bit "good, you deserve better beautiful" did Kendall Schmidt just call me beautiful? Oh golly… I felt the need to start giggling. He's so cute. Whoa, okay Angel, it's just Kendall.

He grabbed my hand and stood up "come on, we'll go watch a movie in my room and get away from all this, you know, just talk?" I agreed and got up. He went to his room, and I went into mine to change into a pair of shorts and a tank top. I grabbed one of my blankets and went into Kendall's room where he was sitting on the bed. Damn, he didn't have a shirt on either. I sat down on the bed next to him and we watched TV and joked around. He looked over at me and asked me the most simple, but hardest question I've ever heard "do you think you and James are going to get back together?" he got closer and I bit my lip. "I – I'm not really s- sure… why?" why is he getting so close…"I'm just wondering" and that's when it happened. Kendall leaned in and kissed my lips softly.

What the fuck is going on right now. Kendall's kissing me… I mean I'm not complaining, but still! What the fuck is happening.

He grabbed my face and started to kiss me deeper. I parted my mouth a bit and he entered his tongue. I let out a soft moan as he laid me back and slowly got on top of me. "You have no idea how bad I want you right now…" he whispered in my ear and slowly kissed down my neck. I tilted my head so he'd have more room. He sucked softly and I felt him bite down gently. Cute… I'm gunna have a hickey.

I ran my hands down his body slowly as he made his way back up to my lips kissing me deeper. Fuck Kendall is so fucking sexy. He pulled off my tank top and threw it on the floor, I pushed his shorts down and he pushed them off the rest of the way. Now all that was between us was my underwear, and bra, and his boxers.

He kissed back down my neck and all over my breasts; he slowly reached behind my back and unsnapped it pulling it off. He pressed his body against mine and kissed me deeper. I pushed him back and got on top of him kissing him harder. What was coming over me? This was for sure the Alcohol.

He placed his hands on my hips as we kissed. I grinded my hips into his and he let out a soft moan. I could feel him getting hard. _Guess who's losing her virginity tonight?_

He flipped us over so he was on top of me and pulled off my panties. "Fuck you're so wet baby" he whispered in my ear as he started to rub me. I let out a soft moan and whispered "Kendall, fuck me. I want you so bad" a smirk came across his face as he slid off his boxers. He reached over to his night stand and pulled out a condom and put it on. Fuck. I was getting scared now.

He positioned himself and looked down in my eyes kissing me deeply as he entered me. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, oh my mother fucking god. This pain is not normal holy fucking shit. I felt tears well up into my eyes. He stopped for a minute and looked down at me, "you alright?" he asked, I nodded "yeah I'm fine" I smiled a little "just tell me when to move" I lifted my legs up a bit and looked up at him "move" and he did he started thrusting into me slowly letting out quiet moans and burying his face into my neck. I felt him biting down and I let out a loud moan in pleasure. He took that as a motion to go faster, and he did, he started to thrust faster and deeper. "ah Kendall" I moaned and dug my nails into his back. I moved my hips with his as he started to thrust harder. And groaned and kissed me passionately going at a steady pace. "fuck I'm gunna cum baby" he moaned out loud. He thrusted a few more times and groaned till he hit his climax, as soon as he hit his, I hit mine.

We both breathed heavily and I looked at him, "holy fuck that was amazing" He just smirked and gotup taking off the condom and putting his boxers back on. "yeah, I'm pretty amazing aren't I?" he leaned down and kissed me as I got up to put my clothes back on. He shut the light off and laid down. "come lay down with me" he patted the bed and I laid down. He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. "goodnight Angel" I watched him close his eyes and fall asleep.

For some reason… I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened. I just had sex. DRUNK SEX, with Kendall Schmidt…. After breaking up with his best friend, and band mate. James Maslow.

Hopefully, nobody finds out about this.

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><p><strong>This didn't take me as long to do as I thought it would, I'll be updating more frequently now that I got a grip on what is going to happen. I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to get reviews and tell me what you think :) it'd mean a lot.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**ANGEL POV**

When I got up the next morning I realized I was still in bed with Kendall. I looked over at him and sighed. "Shit" I thought to myself. I really did have sex with Kendall.

I slowly got up and walked out to the bathroom. I showered, got dressed and did my hair then layed in my bed. I heard a knock on my door and sat up "Come in…" my door opened and Carlos walked in. "hey baby girl" I smiled "hey Carlitos, what's up?"

He sat down next to me "James is pretty bummed out about the break up." I sighed... he'd be really bummed out if he found out about me and Kendall. Carlos looked at me and I looked down "I don't want to be with him, it's simple." "But why not you guys were fine." I got up. "No we weren't he started to be like, mean. All we did was fight, over the most stupid ass things. I'm done." And with that I walked out and went to the kitchen.

James was sitting at the table eating some cereal; I looked at him as I walked by and stayed quiet, so didn't he. He didn't even look up at me. I grabbed a bagel and put cream cheese on it then ran to the living room and sat on the couch. I have a feeling things in this house are about the get extremely awkward.

I turned the TV on and laid down on the couch, Kendall then came in and sat in the chair across from me. "hey how'd you sleep?" he asked reclining the chair "pretty good, how about you?" he smiled "good besides the fact you were snoring all night!" he started laughing, I didn't really thing it was that funny… "I DON'T SNORE" I yelled "OH YES YOU DO!" James added in as he walked in the living room. I rolled my eyes, "lies" and smiled. James came over and kissed my head I looked at Kendall then at James "um… what was that for?" he looked at me, "I can't kiss my girlfriend…?" what the fuck… I'm not his girlfriend? Was he too drunk last night to remember me breaking up with him?

Kendall started laughing, then Logan walked in. "why is everybody laughing…?" Logan looked at Kendall. I looked over at Kendall also, "DUDE JAMES FORGOT ANGEL BROKE UP WITH HIM!" I looked at James who then looked down.

**JAMES POV**

I didn't forget… I just wanted to try to make things better and be with her again. I don't know what's been going on lately; I mean I know I've been sort of a dick. But, I never thought I'd do it to the point of her leaving me.

Since the day I met her, I loved her. I mean, who wouldn't? She's beautiful, funny, sweet and cares about everybody. She can make you laugh when you feel like you could cry. She smells… so good.

I looked down after Kendall said I had forgotten, then got up and walked to my room I slammed the door and locked it. I'm never talking to her again, I know she lives with us, but I'm just going to pretend she isn't around.

I got in my bad and put my pillow over my head. My chest hurts, my head hurts she's all I can think about. The way she'd hug me, the way she would say my name, the way she'd kiss me, the way she'd sleep. This hurts. And that's when it happened.

I cried. I, James Maslow started to cry over this girl. I have nobody to blame but myself.

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><p><strong>I know this is really short, but i'm having a hard time trying to figure out where to go next D: ahahah. i got an idea and i think i know what to do.<strong>

**but you see that button?**

**there**

**click it **

**:D**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**CLICK IT**

**l**

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**v**


	6. Chapter 6

**ANGEL POV**

Over these past few weeks since the whole break up, things around here are weird. James doesn't talk to me. If I try to talk to him he ignores me and pretends I don't exist. I didn't realize we couldn't be friends…

I was in my bedroom cleaning and re arranging things when Logan came in. "Hey Angel, what're you doing" he sat on the bed and I kept putting clothes away "Oh not much, just cleaning my room up a bit, why?" I looked back at him and he smiled, "Want to go to the park or something? Y-you know, get out of the house for a bit?" I nodded "Yeah! That sounds great, let me change and I'll meet you in the living room!"

He smiled then got up and left. I love hanging out with Logan, he's so funny and chill. I changed into my dark blue skinny jeans, a black tank top, and a pink v neck. I straightened my hair quickly then put my uggs on. I walked out to the living room.

Logan looked back at me and stood up "You ready to go?" I smiled big and nodded. He put his and out and I took it we walked out of the house down to the park. As soon as we got there we raced to the swings. Logan of course, beat me. Boys these days. They're supposed to let the lady win!

I sat down on the swing next to his and pumped my legs. "So, are you still doing okay with the whole break up?" He looked over at me asking I kept pumping my legs "Yeah I am, I just hate the fact that he doesn't talk to me... and acts… scared when I'm around you know?" He shrugged, "I guess he just has a different way of dealing with things." I nodded and stopped the swing and put my head against the chain.

**LOGAN POV**

I LOVE THE FACT THAT ANGEL AND JAMES BROKE UP. I could never explain to ANYBODY how excited I am about it.

I laughed to myself a little bit and Angel looked at me. "What's so funny…?" she looked at me confused. I shook my head fast. "Oh nothing I was just thinking, and laughed about it." She nodded slowly and I looked at the dirt kicking it a little bit. She started swinging again, and so didn't I.

I really think that I'd be the perfect guy for her… I'd do anything in the world for her, I would've fight with her, I'd take her on dates, I'd let her sleep in my arms, I'd make her dinner. I'd do ANYTHING. And I mean that. I just wish there was a way to figure out if she liked me at all.

And I wish there was a way of doing this without James hating me. I got up and went over to a tree and sat against it. Angel followed me over and sat next to me. We joked around a bit and looked at the clouds. I love when she laughs, especially at some things I say.

"Look at that cloud Logan!" she pointed to one of the clouds in the sky, "It looks like a horse!" I looked up at it "I think it looks like a cloud…" I looked over at her and she started laughing, "You're an idiot!" she smacked me playfully and sat up. "I'm starving Logan, can we go get something to eat?" I sat up also and nodded. "Yeah, sounds good, want to go to McDonalds?" She nodded and I got up, she was still sitting there so I put my hands out, she grabbed them and I pulled her up she let go of my hands and wrapped her arms around me tightly.

I smiled and hugged her, "I really like spending time with you Logan" I heard he whisper. "I do too Angel." I rubbed her back a little and we hugged for a few more seconds. I took her hand and we walked up the street to McDonalds. "What do you want to eat?" I let her hand go and took out my wallet "um… I want so chicken nuggets and a small fry." I nodded and ordered a 20 piece nugget for us to share, and 2 small fries. She ran off to find a table and I got our food and looked for her. I sat the food down and we split the nuggets up.

We were eating and she looked up at me "I'm honestly really happy that we met, well I'm happy I went to the concert" I laughed "I am too, it's fun having you around!" More like I love seeing your beautiful face every day… I really do like this girl, but I'm too scared to say anything, and it sucks. Then I thought of something. I could ask her to maybe… go on a date, like I could take her to a nice restraunt, and to a movie. Then we can see how we feel about each other from there!

We finished our food and headed home. We walked to her room where we turned the TV on and watched SpongeBob for a bit. I love how much of a kid she acts like. I mean, I know our age difference is huge, considering I'm almost 22, and she just turned 17. But oh well I don't care.

After a few episodes I looked at her. "I gotta go take a shower, then go to bed we got to go film an episode tomorrow." She got up and hugged me tight. I smiled as I pulled away "hey, say on Saturday… would you like to go to the movies and out to dinner?" she smiled and I felt my stomach turn as she nodded fast "Yes! That'd be amazing!" "Alright, we'll leave here at seven?" she hugged me again "sounds perfect Logan, goodnight!" I kisses her cheek "Goodnight Angel"

I walked out and went to my bedroom and grabbed some clothes then went to shower. When I was done I went out to the kitchen and got some chips; went back to my bedroom and sat there eating. I'm finally going on a date with the girl of my dreams.

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><p><strong>READ AND REVIEW :) it'd mean everything to me! <strong>

**I hope you guys like this chapter, i worked hard!**


	7. Chapter 7

**LOGAN POV**

The days have been dragging on, but finally today is the day of Angel and I's date. I honestly still don't know where to take her. Or if she even considers this a real date because I don't even know if she likes me the way I like her. I got up and got into the shower, when I was done Angel was waiting outside the door. "Jesus fucking Christ I have to pee" she said pushing me out of the way and closing the door. I laughed and went into my room to change. I put on a pair of darker jeans, a grey button up shirt and a black hoodie. I heard the bathroom door open then went in and made sure my hair was perfect, and brushed my teeth.

I went and knocked on angels door and she yelled "WHAT IM GETTING DRESSED" I sighed and yelled through the door "don't forget that we're going out tonight!" I smiled a little just saying those words "I know! I'm going to get a haircut and stuff and then I'll be back and ready!" she opened the door and smiled at me. "You think I'd forget about this?" I smiled and shook my head; she hugged me then ran to the living room and put her shoes on. Carlos grabbed his keys and went over to the door "I'll be back later, I'm going with angel!" I nodded and sat on the couch and looked at the time. It's only 11:00… I have like 8 hours till this date even begins…

I watched TV for about an hour then got up and went to Kendall's room, I knocked on the door "Yeah come in" I heard him say, I pushed the door open and he was laying there watching TV. I sat on the bed and looked at him. "I'm nervous as fuck..." he raised his eyebrows "why…? "Well because I'm going on a date... or whatever you want to call it with, angel" he sat up "YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH HER?" I gave him a 'what the hell' look "well... Yeah I like her... I mean I have liked h-"he cut me off, "what's James think about that?" I shrugged. "I never told him, they're not together, it shouldn't really matter, you know?" I shook his head and laughed "if he finds out, he's going to beat your fucking ass" I sighed and got up "that's his own fault he fucked things up with her, not mine." I left and went into the kitchen to make a sandwich, Angel and Carlos walked it and Angel had her hood up, she looked at me and smiled then ran into her room.

Carlos came in and smiled "you're not allowed to see her until the date, alright? She got a new outfit, and got her hair done… just for you" I smiled and I could feel the blood in my cheeks rushing. Carlos laughed and hit me. "Where are you taking her?" I shrugged, "I'm not sure, probably to a nice restaurant, and to a movie? Or maybe the boardwalk, not sure yet." He smiled, "well, I'm sure she'll enjoy it Logan. She wouldn't stop talking about how excited she is" I chuckled and ate my food, and Carlos went off to do his own thing.

_6:45pm_

15 minutes until we were supposed to leave for our date, and I'm getting really nervous. I never get this nervous. I heard music playing from her room when I walked by, I also heard her singing. "what the hell" by Avril Lavigne. I stood there and listened for a minute, then figured she'd be really embarrassed if she knew I was listening, so I went and sat on the couch. It was 5 minutes till 7 and I heard somebody walking over by the couch. I looked back and saw her standing there smiling. "Hi!" she said quietly I smiled and mouthed "hi"

I couldn't stop staring at her... she had her bangs up in a bump, she curled her now light brown hair, she had on a pair of light colored skinny jeans with a pair of green sandals on, and she had a cheetah print tube top on, with a heart necklace. I'm going to have to be pulling guys off of her.

I finally got up and put my hand out "are you ready?" she smiled and nodded taking my hand "you look beautiful by the way" and blushed and shook her head; I smiled a bit and walked her out to my car, opened her door for her and closed it once she got in. I walked over to my side and got in the car, then drove to the movies first "I hope you're okay with going to the movies first" she looked over at me "yeah that's fine! I'm not that hungry right now anyways" I nodded and pulled into the theater parking lot and parked. We got out and walked inside. We decided to watch Final Destination; we got popcorn, with extra butter, and a large root beer to share. We went and found seats in the back. She ate some popcorn and I looked at her "I'm really happy you wanted to come with me tonight" I said smiling. She looked back at me "I'm happy you asked me to come!" she went back to eating popcorn and the movie started. We didn't talk much during the movie, but laughed a few times when we'd both reach for either the soda or popcorn at the same time. When it was done we got up and walked out, then walked up the road a little bit to a restaurant. We got to our table and looked over the menus, after reading everything we both looked at each other and I whispered "this is all nasty sounding" she laughed and closed the menu "let's go to McDonalds! I could go for some nuggets" she said laughing and we got up and ran out, and went across the road.

W ordered a 20 piece nugget to share, with sweet and sour sauce and a large fry. We joked around and ran into the play place and went down the slides. We ended up getting in trouble for being 'too big' but it was worth it. We walked out and went back to the car. We drove to the beach and parked. Angel took her sandals off and rolled up her pants, I took my shoes off and did the same to mine, we walked down by the water and walked in it splashing each other and talking about things we didn't know about each other. And I found out a lot about her. Things I didn't think were even possible when it came to her. "Logan…" she looked at me. "yeah?" she sighed and pulled her bracelets off… "if I show you this will you promise not to think less of me?" I nodded and kept looking at her. She stretched her arms out and showed me the faint scars all up her arm starting at her wrist. I breathed in and ran my fingers over them lightly and whispered softly "why…? you're so beautiful, you don't need to do that to yourself." She sighed and slowly put the bracelets back on "because I had it rough in school, people weren't always the nicest to me, and I was a freak for liking "little boy bands" and whenever something would upset me… that's what I'd resort too… it makes me forget about everything that is going on… and lets me focus on the pain, and how to clean it up"

I looked down into her eyes as she looked up at me, "well I think you're beautiful. And if you didn't like "little boy bands" then I wouldn't of met you, and I wouldn't be able to tell you that I've been falling for you since the day we all went to the movies when you were with James…" she smiled a little "r-really Logan, you like me?" I smiled a little and nodded "I'd be crazy not too" then I slowly grabbed her hand locking our fingers, pulled her closer and slowly leaned in to kiss her. Then to my surprise she was leaning in also, and then I softly placed my lips to hers and kissed her soft, and sweetly. I felt a rush through my body.

That's when I realized, this was much more than a crush.

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><p><strong>I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED. <strong>

**i've been having such a hard time figuring out how to do this chapter.**

**but i now think it's perfect!**

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**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**

**(**more reviews, the faster the next chapter will come!)


	8. Chapter 8

**I know this sucks :| but it took me a while. next chapter will be better.**

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><p><strong>LOGAN POV<strong>

_2 weeks later_

And that was it, I was hooked on her. Honestly, if she told me to jump, I'd take the fall. I loved the way she'd fall asleep on the couch every night with her head on my lap and I'd carry her to bed and shed curl up in a ball next to me. I loved the way she breathes, the way she talks. Every single day with her made me realize how much I actually liked her. I'd do anything for her.

We only had 2 more dates left of tour, after our month break we had just finished them the weekend after me and angel got together. The day after we had a meeting about what was to come next. Our management decided that in another month and a half we were going to do another short tour.

We were on our way home from the meeting about it, and I had to figure out a way to tell Angel, because I knew she was going to be upset about it. I looked at Kendall "I don't want to tour again, we've been nonstop since February." Kendall looked at the road while driving and sighed, "I know what you mean, but it's our job. You know you can have her come out for a week at a time; we'll be out for 6 weeks. You'll be fine dude. She'll understand" I slouched in my seat for the rest of the ride. When I got home Angel was in our room sleeping, yes I said our because we decided it'd be easier to share a room then have to go back and forth.

I crawled in bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her. I felt her move a little bit trying to settle again and smiled. She turned over and put her face against my chest. I could feel my heart going ten times faster. I smiled a bit and kissed her head then closed my eyes drifting off to sleep.

**ANGEL POV**

I woke up in Logan's arms, my favorite place to be. He was sleeping, and I didn't want to wake him so I got up carefully and went to the living room where Kendall and Carlos were. I sat between the two "Hey best friend" I put my head on Carlos shoulder. "Hey best friend, I'm going to miss seeing you when we go back on tour." Wait… did he just say tour…? What the fuck? "Um, excuse me?" I shot him a look.

Kendall quickly looked at Carlos and they both added "Logan didn't tell you?" I could feel anger rushing thought my body "NO? WHAT TOUR?" I got up and stared at them the both went quiet "I swear to god if one of you don't tell me right now what the fuck is going on neither of you will ever have children" Carlos sighed and stood up "Well, we just found out today.. that we're going back on tour for about a month and a half… we're all pretty sure it's only 6 weeks… unless they add more dates, and we thought you knew cause Logan came home and was going to tell you"

I felt my stomach flip; I don't want them to go on another tour. I don't want to be without Logan for that long. "What the actual fuck." Was all I seemed to get out before pushing Carlos to the side and going to Logan and I's room"

"Wake the fuck up right now" I shook him and he stretched looking at me "hey baby" he sat up leaning in for a kiss. "no there's no 'hey baby' right now. Why the fuck didn't you tell me you were going back on tour" he breathed in deeply, "how'd you find out…" I snapped "CARLOS TOLD ME WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU" he grabbed my hands "no baby listen, you were sleeping, I was going to tell you when we woke up, I didn't realize you'd be up before me. I didn't want to wake you up. It's not for another month and a half, and you can come out and stay with us." He looked really nervous, and I just kissed him "I'm sorry I took everything the wrong way." I whispered against his lips and he nodded "it's okay baby, I'm sorry I didn't tell you right off." I laughed and laid down on the bed next to him "don't be sorry, we both know that I would've freaked right now if you had woken me up."

We sat in bed for a while watching TV, we got up and decided to make some dinner. I ran out to the kitchen and looked through the cupboards; we found some mac and cheese, and hotdogs. Logan went out and started the grill while I put a pot of water of the stove to boil. I went outside to see Logan, and sat on the back steps. He came over and sat next to me after he placed the hot dogs on the grill. "You know…" he put his arm around me "I want you to be at the first show on this tour. I know you've always wanted to go to NYC, and that's where it is" I smiled big "YES OH MY GOD" he laughed, "and I promise, I'll take you out no matter how late or early it is to see everything you want to see" I kissed his cheek and put my arms around his waist, then laid my head on his shoulder "I don't know how I got such a good boyfriend" I smiled and looked up at him as leaned down and kissed me softly. "I love you Angel, I know we rushed into things after you and James broke up, but I wouldn't have this any other way"

I felt my heart start thumping fast, my stomach was doing flips. I don't know how I even moved on so fast. I mean, I always had a CRUSH on Logan, I just never thought he liked me more than a friend. I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. "I love you Logan Phillip Henderson" I whispered against his lips before I got up to go make the mac and cheese.

When all the food was done, we sat down at the table and ate. We ended up having a food fight, which got messy. We went back to our room when we got done cleaning the kitchen, and laid down. I looked up and Logan and kissed him. I loved kissing him, more than I could ever explain. His lips were so soft, and seemed to form perfectly with mine. He pulled me closer to him and crawled on top of him straddling this waist. He softly licked my lips, and I parted them allowing his tongue to enter. Our tongues fought for dominance while he rubbed my sides and he slowly slid his hands up side under my shirt.

I pulled away and put my forehead against his "you know, I want to go farther Logan… but I don't want to take things fast… So let's stop here for tonight, please. I promise we'll do something more than this soon." He nodded and pulled me into a soft and sweet kiss, "we don't ever have to do anything Angel, as long as you're mine… I'm satisfied. I love you." I kissed his lips once more "I love you, Logan"

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><p>please read and review? :D give me ideas on what should happen! :)<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

**JAMES POV**

I hate that she's happy with him. That was me almost a month and 2 weeks ago… actually it was a month and 11 days.. yeah, I still count how long it's been. We go back on tour next week. And I should probably make peace with everybody…seems how I've been the outcast since the breakup.

I bent down next to my bed and pulled out the bottle of vodka. I shouldn't be doing this to myself, but I am. I opened it up and took a quick sip; I shook my head at the sting I felt as it went down my throat. I closed it and put it back then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I went back into my room and grabbed my notebook, and flipped to the page with the song I've been working on for her… I sat down on the bed as I read it to myself,

_You say sometimes it's like I hardly know you__  
><em>_And maybe there's some things I never showed you__  
><em>_Sometimes you're certain but you just can't get it working it all_  
><em><br>__You say to yourself somebody better__  
><em>_Will understand you more than I ever__  
><em>_I'll shake his hand and smile and say I understand, and while I do,__  
><em>_That don't mean I don't think about you_

_I know we said it's just as well__  
><em>_That I won't keep, keep you for myself__  
><em>_But I don't want to see you happier with somebody else_

_Why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_Why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_Why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_I know you need someone to__  
><em>_This just feels so soon_

_I know some things should just stay broken__  
><em>_I'm well aware this should remain unspoken__  
><em>_But I've been working on the things that__  
><em>_I was learning all wrong__  
><em>_I know sometimes I only twist ya__  
><em>_And maybe I'm too proud to say I missed ya__  
><em>_But what if here and now I tell you that I'm all figured out__  
><em>_Or maybe I just like how that sounds_

_I know we said it's just as well__  
><em>_That I won't keep, keep you for myself__  
><em>_But I don't want to see you happier with somebody else_

_Why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_Why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_Why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_I know you need someone to__  
><em>_this just feels so soon__  
><em>

Then I finally realized the last part that was needed… I grabbed my pen off my dresser and wrote the last verse.

_I know it seems beneath me__  
><em>_But sometimes it's not so easy__  
><em>_To wish you well and let you go_

_And I said it's just as well__  
><em>_I just can't keep you for myself__  
><em>_I don't want to see you happier with somebody else__  
><em>_Oh…. Lonely, why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_Why can't you just be lonely?__  
><em>_Why can't you just be lo-__  
><em>_This just feels so, this just feels so, feels so soon_

And with that… I had finally finished it. I ripped it out of my notebook and folded it up putting it in my back pocket. Then went out to the living room where angel was laying with Logan, I coughed and looked at them. "he-hey, um… would it be alright if I talked to you for a second in the living room Angel…" She looked up at Logan and he nodded, as she got up.

We walked out to the kitchen and she jumped up on the counter to sit, and I sat next to her. "So what'd you wanna talk about?" she looked over at me. I looked down at the floor "I uh, I just wanted to apologize for everything… honestly. I want to be friends, I hate how awkward things are, and I share a room with Logan on tour, so we'll all be seeing each other a lot…" she turned to me "I appreciate it, I want to be friends too" I finally looked up at her and saw her smiling at me "As long as you're happy Angel, I'm happy."

Then she said the words that made my chest ache "I am really happy with Logan, he's so perfect. I don't want anything to happen to me and him." I got up "Well I'm really glad you're happy, maybe we can go to the mall before we head out on tour and hang out alright?" I smiled at her as she got down and hugged me. I felt my stomach turn as she wrapped her arms around me and I breathed in her sent. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and hugged her for what seemed like a second….

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'm happy we can be friends" I smiled and nodded "me too."

I walked off back to my room and took the song out of my pocket "shit…" I thought to myself "I can't give her this… it'll ruin everything now. I sighed and read it once more, then opened my top drawer and put it underneath some shirts.

I laid back down and closed my eyes, and whispered to myself as I drifted off for my nap "_This just feels so soon…."_

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><p><strong>I think you all will enjoy this chapter :) Please read and review! :)<strong>

**it'd mean everything 3**

**The song this was basically based off of was this - you have to put youtube . com / then whats in parenthesis (watch?v=0CR3O2SP6Ls) it wont let me do a link.**

**I've been obsessed with it, and i felt like it was perfect for James' situation. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**ANGEL POV**

I'm really happy that James and I are friends now, but what I'm not happy about is how tour is starting soon. I felt like Logan would probably forget about me, and find some other girl like James found me. And that scared me… that scared me a lot.

We all went to the mall and hung out together, went out to eat, went to the movies a lot that past week before the tour, and I really enjoyed being with them. I knew I got to go to the first show and stay with them for a few days… but my nerves about Logan leaving started to really get the best of me.

The day before the tour started, everybody relaxed around the house. I sat in Logan and I's room and thought about everything. Carlos came in, obviously Logan sent him in here to see if I was alright "Hey best friend" Carlos sat down on the bed next to me "are you alright?" I nodded slowly and remained silent. He climbed up on the bed and laid next to me putting his arms around me tight. "Now, I know that a lie" I buried my face in his chest and held onto my best friend. He was one of the only people in this house I was really comfortable with seeing me so down. He really understood me when things got hard.

As much as I didn't want to believe he didn't or wouldn't understand what was wrong... He knew the moment I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "I just…" and pulled me back into his embrace tight and shook his head "no sweetie, I know what you're going to say and I'm going to tell you.. " He looked down at me, "Logan won't find somebody else, so don't worry. He loves you. He loves you so much." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I had no reason to cry, but I was. I breathed in deep and held on to Carlos tighter. He rubbed my back and we laid there in silence for about 10 minutes.

I finally decided to try and talk; I pulled back from him embrace and looked up at him "Carlos... I don't want him to go… There are SO many other girls out there. He'll find somebody else... somebody a lot better than me" I sat up and looked at Carlos. He shook his head "If you broke up with him over this… he'll go crazy, Angel. Don't do something stupid." I sighed and got up going to the living room where Kendall and Logan were playing video games.

I sat between them and Logan put and arm around me pulling me close so he could still use the controller. He kissed my head not taking his eyes off the TV. I put my head against his side and stretched my legs out over Kendall's on the couch. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep for what seemed a second.

In reality it was a half hour. Logan shook me gently "sweetie get up we're going to go out to eat" and kissed my cheek. I sat up and stretched. When I finally stood up Logan wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I felt so safe in his arms… I smiled a bit and hugged him back. He kisses my temple and whispered "I love you baby" in my ear. I smiled a little "Ya... Love ya too" He looked down at me quickly and I could tell it was the 'What the fuck is wrong with you... That's not how you usually say it' look. I just smiled a bit then pulled away and put my shoes on.

I looked over at Logan waiting by the door, while he looked at Carlos; He just shrugged then grabbed the keys. We all jumped into the car and went to a restraunt down town. I sat next to Carlos and logan sat on the other side of me. Kendall and James across from us - We looked at the menus and I chose just to get a dr. pepper and some salad. The boys ordered stakes and what not. Then when the food came ate like they haven't in months. Or maybe even years…

I remained silent basically that whole time we were out. Logan could tell something was up. He kept trying to grab my hand and I'd pull it away and just play with the straw in my cup. I looked over at him and would smile once in a while. On the way home I sat in back with James and Carlos. Logan put his arm back and rubbed my leg. I gave up on trying to get him to not touch me. I wasn't even sure why I felt disgusted by it tonight. I usually loved being cuddled up next to him, I loved everything about it. I loved the way he'd rub my leg, or how when we held hands he'd slide his thumb back and forth on the back of my hand. I loved when we was touching me. But tonight was really different… really different.

We go back to the house and I ran inside and went into my old room. I sat on my bed pulling my shoes off. Logan came in and stood against the door frame.

**LOGAN POV**

Something was up. I couldn't put my finger on it. She never seemed so distant before. I stared at her and she stood up, "What's wrong?" I whispered then watched her shake her head. "No, Angel… there is something wrong. You wouldn't let me touch you at all you said 'love ya" did… did I do something wrong?" She remained quiet and I just stared at her "whatever it is… can we please fix it tonight… I leave in the morning…. we leave in the morning." She shook her head again and whispered "I'm not going tomorrow Logan." then looked up at me. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" I managed to choke out. She sighed and sat on the bed "I don't want to do this Logan, find somebody else… I don't deserve you. You'll find another girl on tour, I promise." I stood there confused I could feel my eyes start to sting as I heard her say those words I needed her there tomorrow… I needed her in general. She was my rock.

"Why would I do that… you're my girlfriend. I love you." And she just sat there... not saying a single thing. "ANGEL FUCKING CHRIST TALK TO ME" I basically yelled at her and she shook her head once more "Logan I'm done... I can't do this... Please go." She stood up and walked towards me slightly pushing me out. Once I was out enough for her to close the door she closed and locked it. I felt a sharp pain in my chest and pounded on the door. She needed me I knew she did. She needed me as much as I needed her. She was sick. She didn't tell anybody but me about her heart problems… she didn't tell anybody but me about her self harming… well besides Carlos. "Angel please open the door" I could hear her sobbing, I needed to get in there and hold her. I didn't understand why she was doing this to me.

I stood there begging her to open for 15 minutes before sliding myself down the door onto the floor, and then I lost it. I started shaking and crying. I hit my head against the door "P-p-please d-don-don't d-do this" I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think I wasn't even sure on what I saying. "I ne-need you a-answer me please." Anything could be happening in that room right now. She could still be crying, she could be sleeping, she could be cutting herself. Anything could be happening. Anything. I rocked back and forth repeating that I needed her over and over.

This was our first fight… I never wanted to fight with her. This hurt. In such a short time I let myself completely let my guard down and fall for this girl. She had me wrapped around her finger. And I wasn't afraid to admit it. She became my world. My life depended on sleeping next to her every night, making sure she didn't hurt, making sure she remained MY happy girlfriend. She was perfect, everything about her. I lived to lay in bed an listen to her breathe, the way she flinched in her sleep when she dreamt and grabbed onto me. The way I would look in her eyes when she woke up, and how green they would be… This wasn't what out last night before I left for tour was supposed to be like. This wasn't it at all.

I laid in front of her door and fell asleep. I was awakened at 6:00 when Carlos went by running to grab stuff. I sat up and looked at her door trying to open it once more… It was still locked. I sighed and put my head against it. I walked into my room grabbing my bad. I went into my closet and grabbed one of my shirts, a pillow from my bed, and a piece of paper. I wrote a quick note to her, telling her I loved her, and I wish she would let me talk to her. I also told her to call me. And I really wish she was coming with us.

I placed the 3 items in front of the door, and then put my hand against it whispering "I love you Angel…" then grabbed my bags and walked out of the house without my soul mate. Before boarding the plane I sent her a quick text " I love you, and I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you think like this. I wish you were coming with me to NYC. I'd love you to be at the show tomorrow night… but I understand if not. There's some stuff in front of your door. I love you Angel. My Angel" Then turned my phone off, and tucked it into my carry on. Off to NYC we went… and I was miserable.

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><p><strong>If nobody reviews.. I'll probably take a while to update again. I like having motivation to do this story.<strong>

**I'm kind of proud of this chapter.**

**Anything you guys would like to see happen?**


	11. Chapter 11

IM SO PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER, OK.

sorry for any mistakes. [:

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><p><strong>ANGEL POV<strong>

I woke up after that long night of listening to Logan cry and cry, and seriously scream in his sleep. It wasn't easy to do it, but I had to for his own good. I reached over and grabbed my phone and turned it on, I had a message from Logan, and missed calls from the other boys I clicked Logan's text first and read it -

" _**I love you, and I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you think like this. I wish you were coming with me to NYC. I'd love you to be at the show tomorrow night… but I understand if not. There's some stuff in front of your door. I love you Angel. My Angel"**_

My eyes started to sting and I felt my stomach twist. I put my phone down and got up unlocking the door and opening it. I looked down at the blue flannel, the pillow and a paper went flying down the hall when I picked everything up. I sat on the floor and smelt his shirt holding the pillow close to my body. I eventually got up and picked up the note and read it "Angel, I'm sorry. Once again. I love you, and I'll miss you so much. Please call me. I need to hear your voice. I love you so much. Love, Logan" I sighed and went back into my bedroom and grabbed my phone. I sat all of Logan things onto my bed and headed out to the living room.

Things were so quiet without them… everything was so different. I don't like this already. My phone started vibrating. It was… Kendall? What did he want? I breathed in and answered "Hello…?" "About time you answer you damn phone" and laughed and I smiled a bit "Yeah… sorry I wasn't in the mood to really talk" I paused for a second "How is he?" I asked Kendall a little bit quieter then my normal voice. I heard him sigh "Well, not the best." I looked down at the floor and stayed quiet "Are you okay, Angel?" Kendall asked me. I sighed "I miss you guys a lot… I miss Logan" I heard some moving around and a door closing "Come out here, I'll help you keep it a secret, and we'll surprise Logan halfway through the show tomorrow night" I sat there thinking about it for a second "How will we keep that a secret…?" "Well…" he started, "I could get you your own hotel room, or you can put your things in my room, and stay in there, and then when you and Logan get back after the concert, we'll bring your things into his. How does that sound?"

I was kind of liking that idea.. I needed to make everything up to Logan somehow, I did love him and believe it or not, I did trust him. I really had no reason not to. "Yeah… can we do that, please?" I heard the door again and then him typing "So, if I got you this plane ticket for you to leave at 1:00 tomorrow afternoon you'll be here?" I smiled big "Of course I will be!" I got up, still on the phone and ran to my room "Alright, I'll set it up so you can log in and print your ticket out, I got to head to rehearsals. I'll make sure Ranel or Dustin picks you up and brings you to the hotel!" "THANK YOU SO MUCH KENDALL" I basically screamed. He laughed "You're welcome. I'll see ya tomorrow. Love you, bye" and he hung up.

I started packing I grabbed a couple pairs of jeans some tank tops a few long sleeves, a hoodie, 2 nice dresses, and shoved it all in a bag. I made some dinner for myself and watched TV for a bit. At 10 I started getting tied so I went in my bedroom and laid down. I sat there and stared at my phone, of the picture of me and Logan. How could I be so mean to him? He didn't do anything wrong… I took me being upset about him leaving, all out on him. I got up and grabbed his flannel putting it on; I went into what was… or is our room and laid in his bed. I pulled his blankets that smelt like him over me. I started crying, for no reason… or maybe because I just missed having him there to hold me. I wasn't sure. I grabbed my phone out of my sweat pants pocket and texted him quickly.

"_**I just wanted to say goodnight… and this house isn't the same without you and the boys" **_

No sooner than a minute later I got a reply.

"_**Goodnight sweetheart, I miss you. Nothings the same without you. I love you…. More than you know."**_

I stared at the text for a while, and I started to really think… Tomorrow things between me and my Logie will be okay again. I don't ever want to fight again. I hated hearing him like that. Eventually my thought made me drift off to sleep. I slept like a little baby, in my baby's bed.

The next morning I woke up around ten. I was exhausted from the night before, with the fight, then last night with all the thinking. I picked up around the house after I showered and got ready. It was already almost 11, so I hurried up and grabbed all my things and brought them out to the car. I made sure everything was locked and good to go. I drove downtown to the mall and picked up a dress I thought Logan would really like, I also picked up some make up and little things. By the time I was done that it was 12. I went to the Airport and got my tickets, went through security and all that good junk, and texted Kendall.

"_**I'm at the airport! I'll see you guys soon 3"**_

I shut my phone off, and then it was time to board the flight, I sat by the window, and no sooner after the plane took off, I fell asleep.

Eventually, I did have to wake up. That came when I heard the announcement to put your seatbelts on. I was finally in NYC. When I got off the plane I got my luggage and went to the lobby where Dustin was waiting for me. He took my bags and he walked off to the car. We stopped and got some really good pizza. I was so amazed by everything around me. I've never seen such big buildings or people.. or stores. We got to the hotel and he took me to Kendall's room. Nobody was in there, but that's what I expected. Dustin had to head to sound check so he left.

I pulled my new dress out of my bad and pulled out my new makeup. I went to the bathroom and started getting ready for tonight. I put a few curls in my hair and put my bangs up in a bump. I did my makeup and made sure I looked perfect. I decided the dress was too much for this and decided to put on a light pair of skinny jeans, my uggs, and a long sleeve shirt. I walked over to the full size mirror. For once, I felt like I actually looked pretty. I sprayed soe of my perfume on me that Logan loves and texted Kendall.

"_**Hey! I'm on my way what do you want me to do when I get there?"**_

I sat on the bed and turned the TV on, this kid was taking for ever to reply. A half hour later he finally did.

"_**Go to the box office out front, tell them your name and they'll give you everything you need. When you get that, go around to the back where it says "Crew Only" and then show then your pass, they'll let you in. When you're in, come to the right side of the stage and stand there, make sure you keep yourself hidden. When we go to change, jump out to Logan. I'll see you soon!"**_

I grabbed my hoodie and headed out. I got a taxi, and when I got to the venue I ran inside getting everything I needed. I got through all the security and stood back stage where Kendall told me too. They were already on stage, and I watched then dancing and singing to myself.

Not long ago… I was one of the girls in that crowd. It was crazy to think about everything like that. I looked at Logan and studied what he was doing. He kept messing up his dance moves, and wasn't as energetic as he usually is. I knew that was mostly my fault, and I felt terrible. I needed to make this up to him.

The boys started coming off stage, first James, then Carlos who looked like he was about to attack me, but Kendall stopped him and smiled at me, then Logan slowly trailed behind them with his head down. I looked at him and slowly walked towards him. I was basically walking next to him when he looked up. He looked back down then all of a sudden stopped. I smiled and he picked me up and wrapped his arms around me.

"WHAT? HOW? WHY?" and was seriously crying… and holding me tighter than he ever has. I held onto him tight and put my face in his neck, I was crying too. I whispered to him softly "I love you so much Logan, and I'm so sorry" he started crying harder. I ran my fingers through the back of his hair and pulled away looking in his eyes. "you need to go change, we have all night to do this" He nodded and kissed me. The most amazing kiss I have ever had. It was full of passion, he touched my face when he pulled away "I love you Angel" he kissed me once more then put me down.

I went back to where I was standing. Carlos ran over to me when he was done changing and gave me a hug, so didn't James and Kendall. Logan ran over and kissed me one more time before heading back on stage. He was already doing a lot better. He wasn't messing up, but you could tell he wasn't focused. He kept looking back at me and smiling. I blew him a kiss every now and then, and he would bump into James after. When the show was done Logan came running off stage and picked me up spinning me around. I laughed and held onto him tightly. Tonight was going to be really amazing, I could already tell.

The ride back to the hotel felt like it took years. We stopped in Kendall's room to grab my things and then went to Logan's room. He took a shower then we decided to go walk around the city at night. He held my hand to tight I thought it was going to fall off. We walked to a park and he pushed me on the swing for a while. Then we laid on a slide and watched the stars. We started to get cold to he headed back.

**LOGAN POV**

I really can't believe she's here right now... At all. I thought it was really over. I just couldn't figure out why, and it killed me. I loved her more than anything; I'd give up anything for her. That's why I was doing so badly at the show… I thought people would realize I wasn't able to do it, and send me home. Then I could be with her.

The moment we got back to the hotel we changed and got in bed. We kissed for a while. We talked for a while. We kissed some more. Then I realized… tonight was THE night.

I pulled her closer by her waist, holding her against me. She parted her mouth a bit and I slid my tongue in, fighting for dominance, which I won. She put one leg over me and I rolled us over so I was ontop of her, she soon had both legs around my waist. I kissed down her neck and sucked on her pulse point, when she moaned softly I bit it and then kissed back up to her lips.

She pulled my shirt off and threw it on the floor. I took hers off and kissed down her chest. "My god, you're beautiful" I whispered as I kissed down her stomach, she ran her fingers through my hair and pulled me back up to kiss her. She put her hands on my face and looked in my eyes. I could feel her shaking; I kissed her once more softly. "Why are you shaking babe?" I touched her cheek and brushed it with my thumb lightly, she kept looking in my eyes "I'm nervous…" Her face got a little warm meaning she was blushing, I smiled "I won't hurt you, you know that, I'm just as nervous as you are" she kissed me deeply and ran her hands down my body.

She closed her eyes and tightened her legs around my waist, holding my face up so she could keep kissing me while she undid my pants. I pulled away because we were both breathing heavily. "I never wanted someone so much in my entire life." I whispered against her lips kissing back down her neck. She pushed my pants down and I kissed back down her body. I kissed down to her pajama bottoms sliding them off slowly, and then kissed up her legs. She watched me biting her lip. All that laid between us was her panties, and my boxers.

"Logan.." she whispered as she slipped her hands into my boxers. I breathed in and kissed her deeply as she gripped me with her hand. I groaned and pulled away burying my face in her neck. I helped her push off my boxers and my lips made their way back to her. I loved kissing her. I loved this feeling she was giving me. I never wanted it to her.

I looked into her eyes and whispered again "You're so beautiful, Angel" I softly kissed her again while pulling her underwear down. I felt her smile against my lips. I kissed her more passionately "I love you" I whispered against her lips "I love you too" she wrapped her legs back around my waist, we could both feel my erection against her "god, Logan please I need you" she whimpered. I slowly pushed into her and groaned finally feeling myself inside the woman I was madly in love with.

Soon enough we were both panting, I was going easy at first, and we had a steady rhythm. She was dragging her nails down my arms moaning my name over and over. It was pushing me over the edge. Our rhythm started to get sloppy and I started to go faster. I let out a grunt as she screamed out in pleasure and bit down on her shoulder.

She and I both groaned as I felt her walls tightening around me. I felt her body start to shake and I lost it. I bit down on her neck sucking hard and we both groaned as we hit our climax. I stayed on top of her for a few minutes as we were panting and sweating on each other.

I pulled out of her and laid down next to her pulling her body close to mine. I kissed her head and we laid there in silence just staring at each other. She had a smile on her face, and then put her head on my chest. She was drawing shapes on my stomach and then looked up at me. "Logan, I love you so much… I could never thank you enough for what you do for me.

I smiled "I love you too my baby" and leaned down to kiss her. We fell asleep holding onto each other tightly. I can honestly say, this girl is my soul mate. And I could never imagine even looking at another person as long as I lived.

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><p><strong>PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read and review!<strong>

**i'm so proud of this chapter i can't even take it. and I'd love to hear your feed back.**

**if I get 5 reviews I'll update again Saturday! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**sorry i took so long to update!**

**I'm so proud of this chapter also.**

**This chapter is basically what starts out the main point to this :)**

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><p><strong>LOGAN POV<strong>

After that night, we were a lot closer. She seemed to be really happy. We had 2 days in NYC and then she was going to leave the same day we did to go back home… while we went to the next town. Then I'd be a week without her. I don't know how I was going to be able to handle that. The first day we had in NYC we spent walking around the big apple. She looked so cute, she was so amazed by everything. We went to see the Broadway production of The Lion King, knowing that's her favorite movie, so she would want to see that. Then we went to some really good pizza place that she pulled me to and said Dustin took her there to get something when he picked her up.

The next day was filled with just cuddling, snacks, making love… which was fun until James walked in. Then she was gone the next morning, while we were off to the next town.

_6 days without her... I didn't know what to do with myself. _

When it was finally Friday I was so excited to finally see Angel again. It feels like it's been years even though it's only been 6 days. I got up around 9 am and took a shower. Carlos, James, and Kendall met me in the lobby of our hotel then we headed to the airport.

When we finally got there it felt like it would be forever till her flight was scheduled to land. We sat there for almost 2 hours until finally Carlos yelled to me pointing to the plane that was pulling in. "LOGAN LOGAN" I got up quickly and ran over to him. I smiled big "right there she's here!" I laughed and we ran over to the terminal she would come out. A few moments later James and Kendall walked over. When people started coming through I was keeping a very close eye out for my extremely short girlfriend.

Of course somehow Carlos was first to see her and ran to her. I watched him pick her up and spin her around. They were both smiling and laughing. When Carlos put her down she went to Kendall and hugged him, then to James. I remained in my same spot that whole time. When James was done she pulled away and looked over at me. I smiled at her, and she dropped her small carry-on bag and came running to me. I put my arms out for her and she jumped into them. She wrapped her arms and around my neck and legs around my waist.

I held onto her tightly while she nuzzled her face into my neck. I could hear her sniffling as I rubbed her back. "I missed you so much Logie." I smiled to myself "I missed you too baby" I kissed her head and let her down. She looked up at me as I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her deeply. I could feel her smiling. One of the boys coughed and we pulled away.

Angel and I walked hand in hand to get her bags. We all planned on going to Carlos and Kendall's room for food, and games tonight. James said he was going to go to the gym and workout for a while, then hang with Kendall and Carlos so we could have some much needed alone time. Which we didn't waste any time getting to once we got behind closed doors.

She walked over to the bed and sat her bags down. I went up behind her and slowly slid her hoodie off. I moved her hair and kissed the back of her neck to the side slowly. She turned to face me and kissed me deeply. I picked her up and laid her back onto the bed. She moved her legs so each of our were intertwined. Slowly I started to grind my hips into hers. She let out a soft "mmm" and pulled my shirt off, then started to kiss me again

I pulled away and kissed her pulse point. Then slowly started to suck on it she leaned her head back and ran her fingers through my hair. I softly bit where I was sucking being sure to leave a mark. I pulled her tank top off and unclipped her bra. I pulled her body against mine. She kissed me deeply as she slowly slid my pants and boxers off. I then slid her pants and panties off and grinded myself against her.

Feeling how wet she already was, was starting to drive me insane. I lifted her legs and quickly thrusted myself into her. She let out a loud moan then crashed her lips to mine hard. She gripped onto my shoulders and I kissed her deeply then made my way to her chest. Her nails dug into my skin and she stated to move her hips in sync with mine as u started to thrust into her harder. "Oh my god Logan" she squeezed her eyes shut and moaned my name over and over.

I could feel her walls tightening around me which started to push me over the edge. She let out another loud moan, more of a scream. Then lifter her hips, and dug her nails into me harder breaking skin. I let out a loud groan and thrusted into her as deep as I could cumming in her as she hit her climax. Once we both came down from it I pulled out and laid next to her.

Angel sat up and put her hair up into a messy bun then lid back down. I pulled the covers over us and wrapped my arms around her tightly. "I love you Angel." I whispered in her ear, stroking her hair. She didn't say anything, so I looked down at her. She was fast asleep. I smiled to myself a bit and watched her. I noticed that under her eyes were dark, and now that all her makeup has sweat off she looked sory of pale. I sighed and pulled her closer, slowly drifting off to sleep myself.

**ANGEL POV**

I really wasn't expecting to fall asleep. But seeming how the past six nights I've only slept about 5 hours. I felt so lonely, and I honestly had nobody. I mean I talked to Logan and Carlos on the phone frequently but it wasn't the same as being with them. Especially because I was so used to falling asleep and waking up in Logan's arms.

When I woke up I slowly pulled myself out of Logan's embrace and kissed his cheek. I went to my bags and grabbed some clothes. A long sleeve and some leggings will do for tonight. I went and took a quick shower then got dressed. I put on some cover up and eyeliner. I blow dried my hair then put it back up. Logan was still sleeping so I slowly crawled into bed with him and kissed him. "Logie… it's time to wake up." He groaned and rolled over. "Baby, come on. We got to go." I kissed his cheek and shook him a little. He finally rolled back over and kissed me then got up to shower. I waited for him to be finished then we headed to Kendall and Carlos' room.

As soon as we walked in I ran over to Carlos. I really missed my best friend. "Did you have fun with your boyfriend?" he asked and put his arm around me. "Well yeah!" he chuckled "I thought so, you guys were loud enough!" I looked at Logan and laughed while he just blushed. The boys ordered pizza and we talked about the touring schedule, what they had done all week and what I had done all week – which was nothing. The boys decided to drink. But I didn't want too. I laid on the could with my head in Logan lap. Carlos and James started wrestling, and then Logan joined in. I had a feeling Carlos was going to be the one to get hurt.

I slid off the couch and watched them for a while. I played angry birds on my phone and then James came over and started to drunkenly hit on me. "Wad up sexy?" I looked over at him "you're so wasted James…go away. He look another sip of his beer and slurred out "and you're a very attractive girl" he grinned and I rolled my eyes. I sat up on the couch with Kendall again, and then Logan sat next to me.

I decided to joke around a little it. "Let's have a threesome! You're both sexy as hell!" I laughed and Kendal added "Hell yeah let's do it!" "He was only on his second beer, he wasn't wasted at all. And he knew very well I was joking. I looked at Logan "What do you say baby?" He looked… mad? Now, Logan Carlos, and James all have had about 5 beers each… "If you want to fuck him so bad then go fuck him. I don't want anything to do with it" He stood up and finished off the rest of his beer. "uh.. I'm kidding what the fuck is your issue?" I said looking at him confused. "Bull shit you were." He walked out and Carlos and James in unison said "What the fuck?"

I looked at Kendall who was still kind of in shock "Can he not take a joke or…?" He shrugged. I looked over at Carlos, "Can I stay with you in here…. I feel like I need to give him some space" Carlos nodded then James got up. "I should go. I'll see you guys in the morning" He left and Carlos got up and went to change. I looked at Kendall and he just shrugged again and got up stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed. I took my long sleeve off so I was just in my tank top and leggings and laid down in Carlos bed.

Carlos came over and laid down. It was really quiet, then all of a sudden… Carlos started to snore. I laid there for a good 15 minutes till I finally got up and went over to Kendall. "Can I sleep with you… he's so loud" "yeah of course" He pushed over and I crawled into bed. He put an arm over me "Is it okay if I do this?" he asked. I nodded slowly and closed my eyes.

"Angel… can I ask you something that's been on my mind a lot?" I rolled over and looked at him "yeah… sure?" He sighed then started "I took your virginity… didn't I" I stared at him and said nothing. He nodded "I thought so… I'm sorry if you didn't want to… We were both plastered." I shrugged "It's okay, honestly. I don't mind at all. I smiled a bit and put my arms around him. "I'm sorry for all this drama with Logan right now" I whispered. "it's fine, you guys will be okay tomorrow." He tightened his hold around me then lifted my head to look in his eyes. I smiled a bit and he did too. He ran his fingers through my hair "If I do something right now… don't be mad at me… please" He whispered.

I looked at him confused and then nodded "Why would I get mad?" then he did it… He did what I least expected.

He put his hand on my cheek and kissed me softly. I pulled away for a minute "Kendall…. What are you doing?" He sighed and looked down… Then something came over me. I don't know what and I grabbed his face and kissed him again. He kissed me with more passion this time and pulled the covers over our heads. He rolled over on top of me and slid his tongue across my lips, I parted them slowly and he entered his tongue, His warm tongue fought with mine for a while till I pulled away and pushed him off. "Kendall what the fuck are we doing?" He sighed "I don't know. I'm sorry… Oh god… what did we just do." I got up and grabbed a pillow. "I'm going to sleep on the couch Kendall."

I went to the couch and laid down. I had no blanket so I was shivering. Kendall came over "Angel, Come back over and lay with me… I won't do it again. And you're cold. I promise… I won't say anything of this if you won't." I shook my head and stayed on the couch. He picked me up and laid me in bed. I rolled away from him and pulled the blankets up over me. I could feel him shaking a little bit so I turned over he wasn't under the covers at all. "Kendall, you don't have to not be under the same blanket… Don't freeze to death." I rolled over and faced him giving him some blanket "Thank you…" he whispered closing his eyes. I nodded and kept looking at him. "Kendall…." He opened his eyes "I don't like you emotionally… just so you know." He nodded "Me either but, I do like you…" at the same time we went "physically?" then laughed. He grabbed my face and kissed me again softly, "can we do this, and keep it our dirty little secret?" and for some reason, I gave in. Although this would fucking crush Logan… I somehow couldn't resist Kendall. I didn't even answer him. Just kissed him again. And we kissed for hours. No touching. Just simply making out. I had a feeling this was going to turn out bad.

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><p><strong>PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. now that i FINALLY have this chapter done, it'll be easier for me to update<strong>

**so you know the drill 5 reviews and I'll update by SUNDAY I PROMISE THIS TIME :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**ANGEL POV.**

I woke up the next morning and looked over and saw Kendall sleeping with his arm around me. I sighed and got up, and took a quick shower. When I got out Kendall and Carlos were watching the TV and eating some pop tarts. I sat next to Carlos and he gave me half.

My phone kept going off but I knew it'd be Logan. I wasn't sure if I could handle seeing him yet. But it had to done sooner or later. Kendall and I decided Carlos should know what happened… seems how he heard us arguing a little. He was shocked, but he promised to keep his mouth shut. Kendall walked me to the elevator after breakfast and kissed me deeply goodbye. I went up to the next floor and slowly walked to Logan and James room.

I knocked on the door and Logan answered it. He just looked at me and we said nothing, I wrapped my arms around him tight and held onto him. "I'm so sorry" he whispered in my ear, I shook my head and held him tighter. "I should be sorry, I shouldn't of said that" he touched my hair and ran his fingers through it. He kissed my head when we finally pulled away and I smiled as usual. "I love you." He pulled my face to his "I love you too" then he kissed me. I could feel him smiling against my lips, and that's the best feeling anybody could have. I went and took a shower; James was at the gym so we had some time alone before he had to leave for sound check.

I laid on the bed and I looked over at him when I was done "Are you alright?" He smiled a little, and I just nodded not saying a word. I could tell her had a feeling something was wrong, but if he wasn't going to push me to say anything. He came over to the bed and laid next to me pulling me close. I laid my head on his chest as he rubbed my back. Neither one of us said anything for hours. I had eventually fallen asleep and didn't even feel him get up and leave.

I decided I'd just walk to the venue seeming how it was only a few blocks away. I fixed my hair and put my shoes on then headed out. When I got to the bus it was only Dustin. We decided to sit there and play Left 4 Dead 2 and kill zombies until the boys got done. When Logan finally got on the bus he came over and say next to me. "Hey beautiful" he kissed my forehead then put his arm around me. Kendall walked by and gave me a look... I couldn't really figure out what kind. "Um… I'll be right back" I got up and followed him to the small room in back.

The moment I walked in the room Kendall closed the door, grabbed my face and kissed me tenderly. He pulled away and looked down "I'm sorry…I don't know what it is. I just needed to feel your lips against mine" I sighed and took his hand bringing him over to the couch. "What did we get ourselves into…?" I whispered when he sat down. He remained quiet, both of us did. Minutes that seemed like hours were passing, when he finally spoke up "I have this…" he looked at me "weird obsession with you. With your touch... Your kiss… your face" I looked at him confused "what?" He sighed. "I know I've said this before, but... I don't want you like Logan does emotionally. I just don't want that." I nodded pretending I understood. "I want you physically. To touch, to kiss… stuff like that" he added quickly.

I looked out the window and saw a few fans outside; I knew what they were waiting for. "A few months ago I was one of those girls waiting for a boy from Big Time Rush to step off the bus" Kendall shifted his body to face me "Now I'm sitting here figuring out why I'm in love with Logan Henderson… yet wanting to, and probably can fuck Kendall Schmidt like no tomorrow." He got a stupid smirk on his face, and I could tell her was trying not to laugh. "Oh… so you want to fuck me again?" I rolled my eyes "You said yourself you want me physically, as if you weren't thinking it!" we both laughed, and then he kissed me again.

I couldn't help but to start comparing Kendall's kisses to Logan's. When Logan kissed me, he always interlocked our fingers or held my face. His lips were always moist and warm. He'd always smile in the middle of them, which made me smile. I'd get goose bumps and feel like I could start giggling at any second. With Kendall, he'd kiss me more deeply, and rough. He either always ran his fingers through my hair, or put his hands on my waist and run his fingers along my skin which made me tremble. I felt like I was captivated each time. His lips were sort of cold, but they were so soft. I felt electricity go through me. My body would start to feel hot. Maybe I just liked the rush of something being so wrong, yet felt so right.

I was in deeper than I thought.

Somebody knocked on the door and I pulled away quickly, it was Logan. Awkward. He looked at Kendall "We got to go get ready" Kendall nodded and looked at me, I smiled a bit then walked out.

Before show time Kendall pulled me into his dressing room to "make sure he looked ok" then I went to where I usually stand. They started to show, and Kendall kept looking back at me and smiling. Logan looked at me at one point confused, and I just shrugged. When it was time for worldwide to start, Kendall did something I least expected…

"We have somebody special in the house tonight!" Kendall said into the microphone. My eyes widen. I hope he's not doing what I think he is…

"I'm sure the other boys agree, this girl deserves this, seems how we're all really close, and she happens to be Logan's girlfriend." I stood there shaking my head. Logan looked back at me, and then Carlos ran over and pulled me out on stage "This is my best friend, Angel guys!" Carlos said to the crowd. Everybody screamed, Logan could tell I was embarrassed, and rubbed my back when I sat next to him.

James obviously started the song as always. And tried to make me sing… I just gave him an evil glare and he laughed and stopped. Kendall didn't take his eyes off me… I knew this cause I was looking at him out of the corner of my left eye. Logan held my hand tight, and sat really close. When Carlos and Kendall got up, they both kissed me on the cheek. But Kendall decided to cut it a bit short and kissed the corner or my lips. Logan looked at him quickly and he pulled away fast. I squeezed Logan hand tight as he sang the final part of the song to me… He looked in my eyes, and squeezed my hand tight "Yes, I may, meet a million pretty girl that know my name… but don't you worry, because you have my heart." I stared in his eyes as everybody screamed smiling. Then out of nowhere, he kissed me deeply. I touched his face and kissed him deeply back. Everybody kept screaming, and then Kendall coughed into the microphone. We pulled away and I got up, The boys followed to go change. I went back to my spot for the rest of the show.

**LOGAN POV.**

I was actually really mad at Kendall for pulling Angel out for the worldwide girl… I wanted to do that the night before she left on Sunday. And he ruined it. Another thing, why is she so close to Kendall lately? They're always together, hanging out, sitting next to each other. Then, once they get around me things get awkward. I don't know what's going on… but, I know she wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

When we got back to the hotel, Angel put on long pajama bottoms and a long sleeve shirt. I got in my boxers and shorts and we got in bed. She rolled the other way, weird. She usually always cuddles up against me, and puts her head against my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and she let out a loud sigh. "Logan, could you not. It's really hot in here" I took my arm off her "Okay... sorry." I leaned over and tried to kiss her goodnight. "Night baby… I love you" I whispered in her ear. "goodnight" was all I got. I sighed and rolled over on my back.

She kept playing with her damn phone, too. It'd vibrate ever minute. I couldn't fall asleep. I tried putting my arm around her again. "LOGAN KNOCK IT OFF" I sighed. "can we go out to dinner tomorrow… have some just us time I miss you." She turned to look at me, "I'm sorry I'm moody… but, yeah. I'd like that." She got another text and turned over. She shut her phone off and pushed her butt out so it was against me. "Goodnight bed hog" she laughed "night Logie"

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><p><strong>I'm so sorry I haven't updated, I had writters block SO bad. and I've been rally busy with school.<strong>

**but this time, I really promise by next saturday. I'll have the next chapter up. Is there anything you guys would like to see?**

**At least 5 reviews for the update, as usual **

**AND I'M SO HAPPY YOU GUYS LIKE THIS STORY. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**HERE IT IS. the long awaited chapter of What If I Can't Decide. I'm sorry it took so long to update! i hope you enjoy :]**

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><p><strong>LOGAN POV<strong>

When I woke up the next morning, Angel was gone. Her shoes were gone and her pajamas were on the floor. I sighed and looked over to see if her phone was there, of course it wasn't. I climbed out of bed and changed grabbing my phone and dialing her number.

_It rang..._

_And rang… _

_And rang..._

Until I finally got her voicemail. I sighed and put my phone in my pocket walking out and going to Carlos and Kendall's room. I knocked on the door and got no answer. I knocked a few more times before leaning against the wall. Where the hell could they be? And why did she go with them? Or is she with them? Ha, what a stupid question. She's going to be with Kendall. They've been attached by the hip lately.

I got in the elevator and went down to the cafeteria, I stepped out and there the 3 of them were, eating breakfast. Angel jumped up and walked over to me "Good Morning baby." She smiled and kissed my cheek. "I was worried about you; you should tell me where you're going next time so I don't freak out." She smiled slightly, "I will, sorry I worried you. Carlos called me and asked if I wanted to go grab food and I didn't want to wake you" I nodded "It's okay, don't worry. I'm here with you now that's all that matters"

I wrapped my arms around her and she kissed my shoulder "I love you Logan…" I smiled; it felt good to hear that, I haven't heard it in a few days. I kissed her head "I love you too baby." She let go and looked up at me "Get some food! And I'll sit here with you till your done, and then we can get ready for our date tonight. I promised Kendall I'd go to the mall with him though, but it's only going to be a few hours!" I nodded, but I was slightly confused… I mean I know their friends, and have fun hanging out, but did she really need to constantly be with him? "That okay, have fun, but I get you all to myself tonight." She giggled and went to sit back down.

I grabbed some food and sat between her and Carlos, Kendall seemed to have nothing to say, which was odd. If I talked to him he'd just nod, and sometimes laugh at things that were said. I finished up my food and looked at Angel "Well I guess I'll let you and Kendall go to the mall now." She looked up at me "Alright, I'll be back by at least 3 to get ready for our date tonight." She got up and kissed me softly. I pulled her closer and kissed her a bit deeper; she fell into the kiss not fighting to end it. I slid my tongue across her bottom lip and she parted her mouth slowly allowing access. She pulled away and smiled a bit. "Not in front of everyone Logie, wait till later tonight" I nodded, and kissed her cheek walking out.

**ANGEL POV**

I grabbed onto Kendalls hand and we went out to the car to go to the big mall. I've never been to a 3 story high mall. We we're in Syracuse, NY and Kendall was telling me about it. I got pretty excited! We headed out, stopping at star bucks to get some drinks.

When we saw the mall, I got crazy excited. This thing was huge, and Kendall says they have every store I can think of! When we parked the car I basically jumped out and ran to the entrance. "Slow down there skippy!" Kendall laughed and ran to catch up. He took my hand and pulled me to the corner of the building and kissed me deeply. I fell right into the kiss. Pulling him close to me, I ran my fingers through his hair as he gripped onto my hips and gently pushed me against the building. I quickly pulled back breathing heavily "Kendall, not out here in public" He pulled away and nodded "Sorry I just, loose control with you." I sighed; him and I really do lose control whenever we're near each other. I don't know what comes over me.

We went inside of the mall and started walking around; right off I saw a build a bear workshop. I had never built one before. I started jumping up and down "KENDALL KENDALL OH MY GOD, KENDALL CAN WE MAKE ONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!" He stared laughing "Oh my god, you just got so excited it was so cute! Of course we can go make one" I let go of his hand and ran to the store, grabbing the bear I want. The lady came up to us and helped us with what she needed too. Kendall and I both grabbed a heart to put in the bear, and she made us do a dance… We had to spin 3 times, rub the heart on our knees, nose, heart and feet. Then make a wish, Kendall was laughing really hard. And so wasn't I. We put the hearts in and then she let us go off and pick an outfit for it. "KENDALL" I screamed. He came over and looked at the spiderman costume I was holding "Yup, this is what we're getting" He smiled and kissed my cheek, and then we were off to pay.

I carried the bear around to the stores, I got a couple small things, and then we stopped for some quick lunch in the Mall, WE sat down and I happened to look up. There was a HUGE carousal I jumped up. "Kendall… can we please please please ride the carousal?" I batted my eyes and he looked back at it. "I suppose" I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, he bent down in front of me and I climbed on his back, as he carried me over. We got on and of course, I wanted to ride a horse. Kendall stood next to me, laughing at how excited I was. He kissed my cheek, and I saw a bunch of people stare. I wonder how much longer we're going to be able to keep this in…

When we left Kendall didn't want to let me go just yet. He pushed his seat back and I crawled over ontop of him, as we kissed. He gripped onto me hard pulling me against him. I ran my fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss. Kendall slightly ran his hands up my shirt and I placed mine over his. He sighed and looked at me "…what's wrong? Why can't I touch you" I shook my head and got off him crawling over to the other seat "Kendall.. I'm catching feelings…." I sighed and fixed my hair. He stared at me, then started the car. "WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT" I raised my eyebrow "why are you yelling…." He backed up and didn't' say a word, the whole ride back to the hotel was silence. When we got out of the car, he walked me back to my room carrying some of the stuff. When I went to take my key out, he pulled me close and kissed my forehead. Then put the stuff down and walked off.

**LOGAN POV**

Angel walked out of the bathroom and a small black and pink dress, her hair straightened and her makeup was perfect. But in my eyes, she's always perfect. I smiled at her slightly and she came over to me kissing me softly. Her kisses are what I lived for. I smiled at her again after "Are you ready?" I grabbed my wallet, and then her hand. "Yup, once second" She grabbed her phone putting it in her purse and slid some sandals on really quickly taking my hand again. I sighed at the sight of her phone but kept quiet.

We made our way to the small restraunt up the street, laughing and talking about what we planned to do when we were finally done tour, how the whole filming the movie thing was going to work, and thoughts on where we'd spend Christmas. Tour wasn't done for another month and a half. So we'd still spend as much time together as we needed too. We walked into the restraunt and got seated, I took her hands and we kept talking a bit. She of course pulled her phone out after a while, and we ate in silence. She would giggle at some messages, reply, put the phone down, eat, over and over. She put her phone down and got up "I gotta pee" leaving her phone and left.

It started buzzing. I sat still and stared at it for a minute. It went off again… and again… I leaned over and read the message preview quickly It was from Kendal and it said "Yeah, can't wait to get my hands on…" and that's all it gave me. I widened my eyes. What couldn't he wait to get his hands on? I grabbed the phone and was about to open the message "What are you doing…?" oh no… I looked up and there was Angel. "Why do you have my phone…?" I put it down "You had a message I was just gonna see who it was for you!" She shook her head "Why does it matter? I leave my phone down for 2 minutes and you start snooping. Cool. Show's who I can trust." She snatched her phone from me and sat back down and started eating again.

"Look… I'm sorry, you're constantly on the thing… I feel like we're drifting" She remained silent. "Angel, I'm really sorry, I didn't want to make you mad." She kept eating and put her phone away shaking her head "It's bullshit that you took it. You had no right to Logan. I'm gonna sleep in Carlos' room tonight. I'm really pissed off, and I need time to cool down.

I sighed, and nodded. The funny thing is, it's bullshit she always spends time with those two, and never me. She goes home in 2 days. I had to make sure things are okay with her before she leaves. Maybe we can all go to Six Flaggs or something… try to have some fun.

We walked back to the hotel in silence, she wouldn't even touch me. She got into her room, grabbed some things then left. I sighed and got into bed. I looked at my phone, I know I'd be just as mad if she went through mine. I texted her quickly:

_I'm sorry again... I love you so much, goodnight. _

I got no reply and I didn't expect too, I just hopped that things between us would be okay again. That whatever is going on with her would pass over. And that my girlfriend would go back to normal.

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><p><strong>5 reviews, i'll try to update really soon. i promise it won't be as long as before!<strong>


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